TODAY I LEARNED THAT THE LITTLE QUILT I SENT MY SWAPPER, SHE DID NOT LIKE. MY MACHINE QUILTING WAS REALLY HORRIBLE, BUT I THOUGHT THE PATTERN AND THE MATERIAL AND THE FACT THAT I HAND PIECED IT (AND IT TOOK ME 3 MONTHS), SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED IT THE WAY I DID. BUT, THAT WAS NOT THE CASE.
I RECEIVED A LITTLE QUILT FROM ANOTHER SWAPPER, WHICH WAS WELL MADE AND PUT TOGETHER SO I AM GOING TO SEND HER MINE. THAT WAY I FEEL SHE HASN'T LOST OUT ON RECEIVING A LITTLE QUILT THAT IS ADORABLE.
WOW, I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL EVER JOIN ONE OF THESE SWAPS AGAIN, AS THIS HAS REALLY TAKEN THE AIR OUT OF ME.
ALL THE FABRICS WERE OF HIGH QUALITY AND I TRIED TO MEET HER EXPECTATIONS OF THE RIGHT COLOR GREEN, POLKA DOTS, ETC. BUT THE BORDER FABRIC SHE DOES NOT CARE FOR, WHICH IS FINE, JUST I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY PRETTY.
ANOTHER LIFE LESSON, I GUESS...
Is this the quilt you showed us in your previous post, Mary? If so, I thought it was very cute. I looked close-up at the photos and I didn't think the quilting was all that bad, either. How did you find out she didn't like it? I'm sorry you had to be hurt this way as you are a good-hearted person, from what I can tell and it upsets me that this happened to you.
ReplyDeleteWow, that's sad. I'm sorry this has happened to you Mary. I would have been thrilled to receive your little quilt. I was in awe at your patience to hand piece all those little pieces .. definitely not a skill I have.
ReplyDeleteMichele
Quilting Gallery
Oh mary that is the cutest quilt and you did a wonderful job!!! Please Please don't let the reciever think make you feel you you didn't do a wonderful job. you did!! i would have loved such a gift.
ReplyDeleteMary in H. Va
It isn't the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it.
ReplyDelete~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994
Mary...you have a HUGE heart...you keep on quilting.
This little quilt is not an easy pattern. I am in the process of piecing this same top by hand.
I don't agree that you should send the quilt that you received for the swap....the spirit of the swap is GIVING not getting.
If you ever want to swap in the future I'd love to.
Hugs,
christine
Mary, I don't know what quilt you sent her but the ones on your blog are all wonderful! Join the Bad Swap Results Club with me...if there is such a thing.
ReplyDeleteMy first swap was a Halloween Apron in July Swap. Was to be in the mail Aug. 1, I think it was. I was so excited. I bought a beautiful Jack-o-lantern print, high quality fabric. I used it for the skirt part, for the bib I pieced a black cat with orange background and machine quilted it. No raw edges or seams everything enclosed. I loved it. Several people who saw it loved it. Also I encluded a couple little things in the box with it, such as notepad, some Halloween theme ribbons, etc. Don't you know that I NEVER received the apron she was to make for me from her! I emailed her if she had insured it when she mailed it she should find a claim as I never received it. And I never heard from that email. Only thing I heard was she posted a note on my blog how she loved it, etc. Her machine wasn't working properly so she was going to her Mom's that weekend and work on the apron for me. That was first week or so in August. It is still 'under my skin' so to speak!
I just mailed off a string stocking swap. As of yet I have not received mine...But, the person I sent the one I made and stuffed is in England and I don't know if she is the one sending one to me or not. And, I doubt if it is her and she mailed it the day it said that it would have had time to get here yet. I said I was going to try one more and if this was another where my swap partner didn't send one I would MOST likely never sign up for another one. Sorry to blabbed on and on..
Mary I am sorry this happened to you. The quilt was very cute. and I would like to know if the snowman quilt was from a pattern or a book. I Love snowman and I really like the quilt..
ReplyDeleteOH Mary .... that's such a shame .... I feel so bad for you and MAD at the person who received your quilt !!!! The NERVE of some people .... is she a member of the Quilt Police or what ?!?!!!!! It's people like that who discourage the rest of us who may not be perfect, but just make quilts, etc for the sheer joy of it .... and the joy of giving our creations to friends and family. Well, I'd say you should keep doing swaps if you enjoy them, because there are plenty of people out there who would be thrilled at your enthusiasm and spirit ..... which, by the way runs circles around that sourpus who had the ungrateful attitude to complain about your quilt! HUGS and more HUGS !!!
ReplyDeleteMary....I was going to comment tomorrow after I had a chance to collect my thoughts on this blog entry. Then I went to bed and I couldn't sleep because those comments definitely would have broken my spirit too. People that participate in swaps should realize you are getting all kinds of talent ranges and taste ranges, too. If a person wanted it to be strictly something perfect and that they loved, well, I guess I am under the impression that they should skip the swap and make something for themselves. The point of the swaps is to inspire each other. I don't think you should send her the quilt you received. I think behavior like this is just awful. I don't know if she wrote to you or blogged about it. I personally think some people need a bit of swap etiquette. This summer I participated in my second swap. I made a lovely apron...and it was good quality. I never received a thank you nor did she ever post about my gifts, but she must have had multiple partners and posted about the others. I was crushed. I worked so hard on mine. Don't let it get you down. You do such lovely projects and you are quite creative. Just look at those owls on the sidebar, they are so cute. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the sadness this has brought to you. Some people have very high standards and should not be in a swap of any kind IMO. I have only done one swap and it was a sloanie one. Please do NOT send off your gift! It was meant for you and it is something you should cherish just as the maker meant for you to. You have such a big heart so shake this off and enjoy the quilt you received. Yours was wonderful and she should be embarrassed to voice such things.
ReplyDeleteMary - I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with this swap. It disheartens me so, because your heart permeates thoughout everything you touch.
ReplyDeleteSuch a gift of yourself you made for her.
I've heard of others who have experienced dissapointments like this.
I know in my heart the giving brings me such pleasure, and I try to focus on being sure I'm doing all I can do. Beyond that, I can't be responsible for others. And, I won't let them spoil my pleasure in the process.
I have to say, I still so cherish the gifts I've recieved from fellow Sloanies. So, I'll be sticking to Pat's swaps.
Hang in there - and I'm sending hugs across the miles!
amy, in South Lyon, MI
Thank all of you for your kind comments. Pat, Michelle, Mary in H.Va, Lisa, Mary Anne, Dandelion Quilts, Val and Amy. All of you made me feel better. I don't know what I would do without all my blogging and sloanie friends! And Lisa, the snowman quilt is from a book called, Winter Whimsies by Suellen Cochrane Wassem, she is under Pieceful Heart Designs by Suellen. Hugs Back to All of You, Mary
ReplyDeleteDear Mary,
ReplyDeleteJust like my dear friend Christine, I REALLY think you did a GREAT job. I would have been thrilled getting such a cute little quilt, moreover because you put all your heart in it !
Please, DON'T send the quilt you got. What matters is the fact that you made yours so very heartfully. If your partnerlikes it or not is NOT your fault.
Swapping is an affair of heart and friendship, and NOT competition!
Oh, and by the way : I'd be VERY happy swapping a little quilt with you ! Really. So, whenever you wish, just contact me, dear. ;>)
SMILES and friendship threads,
from NADINE in Belgium.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
If you cannot handle the truth, better not to have holes in your piece. Furthermore, if your machine quilting is not good, why machine quilt?
ReplyDeleteHow cruel and heartless . . . if she wanted something made to her specifications, she should have made it herself. I see we have another hateful comment by some coward who had to remain anonymous. I guess people like that have to exist to make us appreciate those who give from the heart in the true spirit of a swap.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone has been burnt one way or another in swaps. I think your border fabric is fine. You would think that she would appreciated the time it would have taken to put it together instead of telling you how much she didn't like it. I think she is the type of person that shouldn't be in swaps not you.
ReplyDeleteHi Mary,
ReplyDeleteI think your little quilt is really cute and sweet. anyone would have been happy to receive it. So your swapper didn't like it, she can give it away to someone. You do NOT need to send her the one you received. Your swapper should be ashamed that she had the audacity to tell you she didn't like your quilt. Shame on her.
Warm hugs, Ruthie
Thanks again Ladies for all your nice comments. I did see the anonymous one that left a rather negative remark...my only response is I machine quilted it because it took me so long to hand piece it and I wanted it to get to the receiver in time. I didn't want her to have to wait. But she contacted the head of the swap instead of me, personally, and took pictures of it, scrutinizing every stitch. She told me when she received it, it looked like a lot of Love went into making it. Then I get an email from the swap leader that in fact she did not like it and it was not made well. So "anonymous" you seem like a very bitter person and this was a Little Quilt Swap, maybe your priorities are confused. I made this quilt with only the best of intentions and I did my best. When you make any thing for someone, who send them a little piece of yourself. And that is exactly what I did.
ReplyDeleteFor everyone else who commented, I just Love you Gals, Many,Many Hugs, Mary
First off, I am not bitter. I just hate when someone is delusional over what is NOT well made. If you were told by someone that actually knows quilting that you had flaws, then it seems pretty obvious that you should have been capable of seeing them PRIOR to sending the piece. Swaps DO have some preference of the recipient that do need to be abided by, (to Linda). Recipient preferences are not just for casual reading, ya know. Couple questions...Does the quilt you received have puckers & holes?? Does the quilting on the top appear to be done by a total amateur?? If the answer is "No", that ought to tell you something. Stop being so self-righteous about this and accept that you probably screwed up here. How would you feel to get something that you thought looked like crap? Now who's hurt and sad and disappointed, eh?
ReplyDeletemary, i spent a lot of time on the quilt i made. picking out the fabrics, the pattern, making the top, machine quilting in a simple pattern (as i am a newbie).i really loved the one i sent out. then i received your quilt in the mail. while when i first looked at it i thought the piecing was so lovely and while it was not in fabrics i would chose (i am more a 50's, and modern gal)i thought they were ok. thennnnnnnnn i started to admire it and while doing so i noticed the fabrics in the center all squooshed together from the quilting, and not just in one place, but all over. i understand this was your first piece in machine quilting. i admire your efforts, but personally, if i realized my quilting was going this way off course, i would have stopped and ripped out my work and tried something more simple like a straight stitch. i had troubles with a personal swap recently with my efforts at quilting and i ripped out my work and attempted again in a stitch i felt more comfortable with. i wouldnt want to give something to someone that wasnt my best effort. the large outer border also had two places which totalled about 5-6" where it was not attached to the underlying batting and fabrics.which on a big quilt would probably not be a big deal, on a small quiltie, it is. i spent time and effort on my quilt and i was disappointed with what i got. period. i have been doing quilting swaps for a couple years, and have hosted a number of them. i am always very concerned about the others' feelings. i have only had this type of thing come up only one other time in a swap. i really appreciated the effort you put into your piecing, but the parts that were unsewn and the quilting was, in my opinion shoddy work and obviously rushed. i never contacted her to rush her into sending. people can always be given extra time. i only contacted the swap mama to ask what i should do. i sent the pix to her so that she could see what i was talking about first hand to see if i was just being a b***h or if these were legitimate claims. the swap mama and i together decided they were unacceptable defects in workmanship....something that does not show in your pix. i wonder how many of these commenters would think differently if they saw the photos???? my INTENTION was to KEEP from hurting your feelings, not hurt them. i think this mud slinging you are doing here and on my blog, are hateful. not anything that i did. ask anyone that has been in a swap i have hosted or participated in that i am a conscientious caring swapper. please stop this. and i noticed you didnt mention how i emailed the swap mama twice to tell her i didnt want the quilt you rec'd, that that wasnt the point.i just wanted to receive a quilt that didnt have obvious defects. i will wait to see if you allow this comment to stay
ReplyDeletesorry you had a bad experience. I've been burned twice in swaps, well more than that really...but it's still fun. If you don't know the people, you may get some bad apples. Please don't let them spoil the fun for you. Your work looks very nice to me; you don't owe her another thing. Don't give her your quilt just because she's a whiner! (or a wiener!)
ReplyDeleteMary,
ReplyDeletesorry you had to deal with a swapper who doesn't know the true meaning of a gift. If I were you I would forget this person and keep making your beautiful quilts!
Lois
I am sad for you. I have just one thing to say, DON'T you dare send her the other quilt! You made your quilt for her, And yours was made for you. Sometimes people don't know how to accept a gift. I looked through your little quilts and think they are too sweet. You can't make some people happy. Chalk it up to sour grapes. And don't let it keep you from joining other swaps. This is the rare occurrence. I have done many swaps, SP and Secret Santa exchanges through the years and have never heard of someone slamming the gift they were given. I hope you will reconsider. Keep stitching and sharing with others. It is what connects us.
ReplyDeleteMary,
ReplyDeleteI have tears in my eyes. I can't believe this happened to you. The quilt is beautiful, and you did a great job with choosing fabrics and the machine quilting. Your peicing was great, too.
Bless your heart. I am so sorry this happened to you.
By the way, I've been out of town, so I'm late at saying thank you for the beatiful cottage block to made me. The little curtains in the windows are so adorable. I have you listed on my sidebar along with the rest of the swappers in my group. Thanks again for the block.
Amanda
I'm not getting the comments about someone not knowing how to receive a "gift" - how was it a gift, when both people presumably put effort into a piece and swapped it out? I have held the quilt in question in my own two hands, and while it might look "very cute" in a tiny photo, in reality there were several largish gaps in the seams and the binding was pulled around one corner so weirdly that for a couple-three inches there was no binding on the front; it was all hauled around to the back, not mitered, just plain goofy looking. As I understand it, Susan had asked for pretty much anything BUT Civil War reproduction fabric, and the quilt was mostly Civil War fabric with precious little else.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: Why would you continue to make rude comments on the blog of a person who has already expressed her embarrassment about a quilt made for a swap. It's too bad you didn't get the quilt you wanted, but you do not have to be in swaps in the first place. The worst part, though, is that you would continue to make these comments and not identify yourself. I don't think you would make them to Mary's face either. It's easy to be rude to someone when you aren't looking at them.
ReplyDeleteMary, you don't deserve to be continually badgered about this. I hope you will stop reading any comments marked anonymous.
I hope you will find others to swap with who will be more accepting.
Sarah in Houston
I think it shows a lot that "Anonymous" won't log in but will complain without people knowing who she is. I thought the quilt was very cute and even if she didn't like the quilt couldn't she at least appreciate the thought, time, and effort put into it? The polite thing to do would be to accept the quilt and not swap with Mary again if she hated it so much. Quilting is supposed to be a nice and fun thing not something to be upset or disappointed with.
ReplyDeleteMary, first off I would like to congratulate you on the beautiful little quilt you did --- I would have been honored to receive it.
ReplyDeleteSecond, was this an organized swap with a hostess or was this a one-on-one swap between you & the other person?
If it was an organized swap then you should have been notified by the hostess as to whether there were problems with your quilt.
I was in a small quilt swap with a hostess. . . the quilt I received had some detail work that did not "fit" with the guidelines of the swap ---- and I explained my concerns WITH THE HOSTESS, I never said anything other than "thank you for your quilt" to the person who sent it to me.
The Hostess of the swap you were in should have handled this situation better.
There is one Hostess that I will never sign up on a swap with because I did not find her to be truthful or fair. . .but then there are other people who love her---perhaps she woke up on the wrong side of the bed when it came to dealing with me.
However, most of the swaps I have been in do indicate that you shouldn't try to learn a new technique on a swap piece. . . which could explain why there was a concern with your machine quilting. You may have been better to contact the hostess & advise that you would be late and explain why. . .and give a specific date that you would be able to mail. That could have taken some of the pressure off of you while keeping in touch with the other swap members.
At this point, I wouldn't do anything else unless you are asked by the Hostess of the swap. . .and you should certainly not send the quilt that was made for you.
Keep up the good work. . .your pieces are wonderful.
Anonymous, let's say this quilt really didn't satisfy your all powerful quilt perception. Why would you continue to complain about a piece that obviously took effort to make? It is your OPINION that the quilt was considered "terrible". Unless you invented the craft, who are you to say what is bad and what isn't? You come off as quite a bitter, hateful, and undeserving person. It seems you take personal pleasure in picking apart people's works. You seem to be the only person with a problem, so next swap, make yourself a quilt.
ReplyDelete